女人喜欢被拥抱而男人喜欢做爱；女人喜欢多交流而男人喜欢做爱；女人喜欢有情调而男人喜欢做爱（囧）。通常女人达到高潮比男人要花更多的时间，常见女性机能障碍是无法高潮，而男性则是早泄。不过，性高潮的本质却和性别无关。
很多人也许不知道，男女两性的高潮是十分相似的——这里指的是高潮时骨盆肌肉收缩的节奏和持续时长，以及身体对高潮的感觉。
这并不算是什么新闻，相关研究可以追溯到上世纪60年代末。回顾这些研究，可以从性爱的角度讨论一下身体知觉，并阐释一下唤醒身体的感觉对提升性生活质量和满意度的重要意义。

高潮不分男女
明尼苏达大学医学院进行过两项研究，发表于上世纪80年代初。该研究利用压感的肛门探头，测量了男女自慰时骨盆肌肉收缩的强度、频率和持续时长。总体而言，男性和女性在收缩模式上没有差别。
数据表明，高潮开始时，出现一系列约为6-15次有规律的高强度收缩，这个过程持续约20-30秒。此后的情况有个体差异，但无性别差异。对于某些男性和女性而言，这一系列有规律的收缩是主要的高潮体验，这种 I 型高潮是最常发生的。其他一些男性和女性可能将继续体验到约30-90秒不规律的收缩，也就是 II 型高潮。相比之下，只有很少数人有混合模式的高潮。
这些数据证明了两个重要结论。第一，个体差异是真实可信的：一个拥有I型高潮的人可能每次都是I型高潮，有II型高潮的人情况与之相似；第二，性别与高潮类型无关，男性或女性中都既有I型高潮者又有II型高潮者。
因此，虽然男性和女性在去往高潮的路上有不同的需求、不同的期望和不同的行为，但男女的高潮体验几乎是相同的。性别跨越者和双性人的高潮体验也很可能和大家一样。
还有两项研究证实了男女高潮体验的相似性。1969年，伦敦的一项研究发现，在心率增加、血压升高和肺换气过度这些方面，男女高潮没有显著的性别差异。1994年斯坦福的一项研究验证了明尼苏达大学和伦敦的结论，并发现高潮时，男女体内催产素水平的增加也是相似的——催产素能使人产生归属感和被爱的感觉。1977年，俄勒冈里德学院的调查表明，男女生在形容各自高潮感受时，所用词语的类型没有区别（当然，描述各自器官的词语除外）。
节俭的大自然
为啥男女有相似的高潮反应呢？原因之一主要是生理上的。所有的哺乳动物中，高潮时，传导肌肉收缩的神经通道都是雌雄相似的。看来大自然很节俭，不愿为相同的功能去设计额外的通道。另一个原因是，所有哺乳动物的胎儿在发育的最初三个月内是不分性别的，那时候的胎儿从生殖器来看，都是女的（这是大自然节俭的另一个证据）。在产前的第三个月，人类的男胎儿开始生产更多的睾丸酮，这标志着他们的基因开始着手构建男性生殖器了。
此外，据估计，男女高潮相似的另一原因是繁育后代和巩固家庭的需要，归根结底，是为了营造有利于人身心健康的社会环境以养育后代。同样为了达到上述目的，人类有着相似的表情，如微笑、哭泣等。我们的镜像神经元系统让我们善于察言观色，更重要的是，利用这种能力来体察他人的情感，从而使得人际关系更紧密。
以上种种的本质是，通过共同体验强烈的情绪，能使我们对自身和同伴的感觉都更加敏锐。看到别人哭泣，我们会跟着难过甚至也会流泪。同理，当我们发现别人正在享受高潮，不论男女，欲望都会被挑起，并作好自己进入高潮的准备。而如果男女高潮截然不同，就不会有这样奇妙的效果。（这大概也是看小电影会有反应的理论依据吧。）
身体的感觉只会在被关注和培养的情况下，才能达到最好的状态。男性早泄和女性不能达到高潮都和身体知觉能力下降有关。健康开放的性交流，要求情绪的共鸣，以及对自己、对伴侣身体的敏感。
切记，如果把太多的判断、评价、期待带上床，就会影响对自身及伴侣身体的感觉；并且还会导致疑虑、恐惧和羞愧等。这样，我们就失去了感受自己的能力，不管是在床上还是在床下。如果养成了不由自主地进入这些状态的坏习惯，而无法体察自己当下的感觉，那就需要通过相应的练习、锻炼甚至训练来找回自己。


Male and Female Orgasm: Not so different?
The experience of orgasm for men and women is very similar
Published on April 16, 2010
Women are from Venus and men are .... Well, let's not go there.
These and other metaphors point out a common truism: that men and women are different when it comes to love and sexual response. Women like to be cuddled and men like sex. Women like to talk and men want to have sex. Most women take longer to achieve orgasm than most men. A common sexual dysfunction in women is inability to achieve orgasm, while the corresponding dysfunction in males is premature orgasm.
Here's what you may not know: The actual orgasm, for both men and women, is very similar. This is the case both for the timing and duration of pelvic muscle contractions during orgasm as well as the body sense - the felt experience - of orgasm.
This is not exactly new information. The research on this goes back to the late 1960's. I want to review these findings to make a few points about the erotic dimensions of body sense, points that lead to important implications about enjoying and improving one's sex life by cultivating your body sense
Two studies done at the University of Minnesota Medical School and published in the early 1980's measured the intensity, frequency, and durations of pelvic muscle contractions (measured with a pressure sensitive anal probe) of males and females during masturbation. There was basically no difference in the pattern of these contractions between males and females.

As shown in the diagram, taken from one of these studies, orgasm begins as a series of 6 - 15 regular contractions of high intensity occurring over about 20-30 seconds. There are individual differences (but no gender differences) in what occurs after this series of regular contractions. For some men and women, these regular contractions are the primary orgasmic experience. These Type I orgasms are the most frequent. Other men and women, however, may continue to experience irregular contractions (shown in the diagram) for another 30 - 90 seconds, so called Type II orgasms. A relatively few people have mixed patterns of regular and irregular contractions.
Two things are important about these data. One is that the individual differences were reliable: people who had Type I orgasms on one occasion were more likely to have Type I orgasms on subsequent occasions, and similarly for Type II. The other important conclusion is that not only were there no gender differences, but the same types of individual differences occurred in males and females. Some women and some men are Type I climaxers and some are Type II.
So, while there may be very different needs, expectations, and behaviors in males and females leading up to orgasm (Mars and Venus), the orgasmic experience is almost identical in both sexes. Orgasm is also likely to be similar in transgender and intersex individuals.
A couple of other studies confirm the male-female orgasmic similarity. A study done in London in 1969 found no significant gender differences in observed increases in heart rate, blood pressure, and hyperventilation during orgasm. A more recent study, from Stanford in 1994, replicated both the Minnesota and London studies. The Stanford study, in addition, found similar levels of increased oxytocin in males and females during orgasm. Oxytocin is the hormone that induces feelings of affiliation and love. Other research, done in 1977 at Reed College in Oregon found no differences in the types of words used by male and female college students to describe their experiences of orgasm (removing, of course, words for the specific genitalia).
Why might males and females have this similar orgasmic response? One reason is basically physiological. The neuromotor pathways for orgasmic contractions are similar in males and females in all mammals. Nature likes economy, so why use different pathways for the same function? Another is that during the first trimester of fetal development, in all mammals, there are no gender differences in the genitalia (another example of natural economy). We are all genitally female at this early age. In the third prenatal month in humans, male fetuses begin to produce more testosterone, which signals their genes to begin creating the structures for male genitals.
The other reason why there are no significant gender differences in orgasm, and I admit to some speculation here, is the need to bring males and females together for the purpose of procreation on the one hand, and stable family formation on the other, both with the goal of creating a healthy psycho-bio-social environment in which to rear the next generation. How would similar orgasmic function promote this? For the same reason we all have similar emotional expressions like smiling and crying. Our mirror neuron system guides us to observe behavior in others that is like our own and more potently, to use that observation for shared and mutually empathic experiences that serve to bring us closer together.
Here's the bottom line. Shared experiences of emotionally intense moments enhance our own and our partner's body sense. When we observe someone crying, we feel sadness for and with them. When we observe someone else having an orgasm, regardless of gender, it enhances the desire, readiness for, and experience of our own orgasms. If orgasms were radically different in males and females, this would be much less likely to happen.

If you've followed any of my other posts in this blog, you'll realize that body sense only works its neuropsychological wonders if we cultivate our attention to it. As I wrote in a previous post, premature ejaculation in males and orgasmic dysfunction in females is related to reduced body sense awareness, suggesting that open and healthy sexual communication requires awareness of and emotional engagement with one's own, and one's partner's, body sensations.
When judgments, evaluations, and expectations are in bed with people, they will feel less of themselves and their partners' experiences. These forms of conceptual self-awareness lead to doubt, fear, and shame, effectively cutting ourselves off from our ability to fully feel our embodied experience, in bed or anywhere else. If we have a habit of drifting into these states and away from being in the present moment with our body sense, it may take a lot of practice, exercise, and even coaching to bring us back home to ourselves.
I've written in this blog and elsewhere about the many different forms of education and treatment that return us to the body sense. Marsha Lucas and Debby Herbenick, in their Psychology Today blogs, have also written about practical ways to enhance the body sense during love making.
Given at least a certain level of mutual erotic attraction, feeling all the sensations of a shared partner orgasm - arousal, breathing intensity, vocal calls, mutual gazes, warmth, touch, and pleasure of feeling our own and our partner's deep pelvic muscle contractions - is likely to intensify and prolong the experience for both people. The oxytocin provides the melty feeling and it activates neural centers in the prefrontal cortex and insula that tune us into our own body and to our partner's body. Shared body sense in all aspects of co-living, including sexual engagement, promotes lasting attachments, deepening love, and long term commitments.

老大，转帖要有评论的。你小心被扣分。不过你还真专业啊。连英文的都整上来了。牛！